Happy New Year!

2011 was the year filled many changes and new beginnings. I moved back from England, I moved to DC, and I moved to Jacksonville to be with the man I am going to marry. I thought moving to Jacksonville was going to be a lot tougher than it has been but the city caught me by surprise. Having been here only a month, I am actually looking forward to writing a post on all that it has to offer.

2011 was also a year filled with uncertainties because finding a job was arduous and debilitating. But persistence paid off and I found the most amazing internship in DC working with a prominent women’s ngo. That position taught me so much and reaffirmed my passion for development work. Soon after, I was lucky enough to get an interview with the Girl Scouts in Jacksonville (the only job I applied for in Florida) and here I am. It’s funny how things have a way of working out. Even though it doesn’t involve the international community, the work is rewarding and allows me to make a difference in the lives of young girls.

I have nothing but high hopes for 2012 because it has so many great things lined up- a new home, our wedding and of course travel!

Summer is over!

I can’t believe my time in DC has already come to an end. As daunting as it was at first to move here in less than a week’s notice, everything worked out in the end. I was lucky to have great friends here who took me in and made me feel right at home- Thank you Elbert and Priya! Although I didn’t quite become a Dcite, I did develop a new found appreciation for the city and all that it has to offer.

Professionally, I developed so many new skills and learned a lot more about gender, the economic plights women face and the inner workings of a NGO. I have to say my impression of the sector has now changed once I saw how things actually work. But at the same time I can’t wait to start the next venture, whatever it may be, because after having heard actual life changing stories I am ok making a difference on a smaller scale. It also didn’t hurt that my team at Vital Voices was so much fun to work with! Despite having a pretty quiet intern room, Katie, Lucas and I always made the most of each day and I have to say I looked forward to laughing with them each day. 

This summer has also been the best ever because I met a truly amazing man. He has completely changed my outlook on life and my cynical opinions on love. Not only did Asghar enter my world by complete surprise, he also got me to fall head over heels in love with him. And I have to say it is the most amazing feeling.

I am heading back to New York next week with a new outlook, fewer worries and a lot of excitement for what comes next.

See you soon New York!

Challenging the norms of culture

Over the July 4^th weekend, I attended a Pakistani wedding and what was different about this wedding from all the others I have ever attended is that I did not know anyone there except my boyfriend and was essentially his date for this 350+ guest affair. Those of you that are a part of this culture are fully aware of how something like this would rarely, if ever, happen. 

When describing my culture, the two things that I’m sure come to everyone’s mind are familial expectations and rampant gossip. People love to talk. Parents and extended family love to tell you how you should live your life, irrespective of how you actually want to live it. The two of us decided that we should take advantage of being in the same city at the same time and so I decided to attend the wedding. Initially, I was a bit apprehensive because I did not want it to become a negative experience because of people’s stares and judgments. But that only lasted so long.. We went, we looked amazing and we had a great time together. Nothing horrible happened afterwards and I think we actually challenged people to get out of their comfort zones and accept that the culture is changing and has been for a while now.

I had already lived that way. I did it for a good chunk of my life, like many of us do, solely because we feel some catastrophe will occur if we don’t. We grow up hearing a good child will listen to their parent’s every wish, become a doctor or engineer and basically be a robot that is guilt ridden for wanting any independence and will be directed by cultural norms rather than living a life that is guided by their own dreams and ambitions. 

When I slowly started breaking away and making decisions based on what I felt was best for me, I was scared but asked myself, “What is the worst that can happen?” And that always helped. My parents never disowned me or kicked me out of the house but gradually learned to accept my decisions and rationale and the best part is they actually got to know their daughter. We actually have a great relationship now where I can share things with them honestly and don’t feel compelled to live a double life- like many young desis do. I know I am also very lucky to have pretty open minded parents that even allow for such dialogue. Sadly, there are some that feel ruling with an iron fist is the only way to go and really don’t give their kids a choice. 

Fear and the unknown are two very powerful things. They prevent you from taking the necessary leap. But it is really important to remember that nothing will ever change if you don’t speak up and do things that challenge the norms. I have way too many friends that say things like, “I wish I had your parents” or “You are so lucky that you get to do what you want” but they don’t actually try to change their family dynamics. Parents need to be given some credit. At the end of the day, they do want to see their children happy and I really believe a middle ground exists, if you allow it to.

Updates from DC

I can’t believe over a month has passed since my last post. Apologies for the lack of communication but this is my first free weekend where I have planned to do absolutely nothing. The last 4 weeks have been a whirlwind of events from moving, family visits, cousins, weddings, and quick getaways- I know I am known to always be on the go but I will be the first to admit how nice it is to just sit on the couch and watch a movie.


I have been in DC for a month now and don’t really have anything to show for it in terms of a favorite coffee spot or happy hour or restaurant and so I have decided July will be the month where I will make a conscious effort to explore DC on a daily basis and find my niche. I haven’t really been able to identify with the city, partially because I keep comparing it to New York, wrong on my part, I know. And mostly because I just haven’t had the time. My internship, on the other hand, has been absolutely amazing! I am learning so much and actually getting to contribute to real programs and initiatives, which has also been contributing to my busy schedule.

What I have noticed over the last few weeks is that there always something going on-whether it be a visit by the Dalia Lama or movies by the Potomac or awareness campaigns for any given issue. They may not have a Time Out DC here but if you have a few minutes to spare and access to the internet, you can plan pretty interesting weekends and weeknights.

For example, within my first week here I got to attend a CNN human trafficking awareness talk, a conference on democracy for women, and an outdoor concert. But then again during the first two events I also got to see another side of DC, the lack of genuine concern/desire to bring about change. A lot of us associate the city with the ability and power to make a difference. But what I have noticed here is that very few people actually have that desire. Most do their jobs but real life issues get placed on an economic ladder where causes with the most funding get the most attention. I know that has always been the reality but it is disheartening  to actually witness.


What I miss the most about New York is the food and neighborhood walks and of course, my friends. But now I am equipped with great recommendations from some current and past locals and a new location right in the heart of Dupont (thanks to an awesomely generous friend) that I am sure will allow DC to find a place in my heart.

Im moving...again

When I writing about DC back in March, I really had no idea when I would be back but here I am getting ready to move down there tomorrow. My affinity for the city makes the move an even easier venture because I have always wanted to live there once in my life. Having great friends already there makes it even better.

I was offered an internship with an amazing women’s organization and so I am picking up and leaving New York City again but only for 3 months this time around. At least as of now..

Saying that I am excited would be an understatement since I am over the moon about immersing myself in the political and development culture of DC. What I had been missing most about my life in Birmingham was the conversations with friends about development issues and now I can finally have that around me once again. And I’m sure my world traveling/rural livelihood expert roommate will bring me up to speed on the current trends.

Since completing the Masters, I have been wanting to part of something that allows me to utilize what we learned and actually see it in action.  I’m sure I will regret saying this later because of course the real world is nothing like what we read about in our idealistic courses. Nonetheless, this change was much needed and off I go!

Of course this means that I will no longer be available to gchat and email as much as my heart desires during the day so I send apologies to my daily circle of friends that are sure to feel the impact. To my New Yorkers, you can never be replaced and wont. I'm sure ill see you soon.

Wish me luck!

End of the World

On my way to work this morning, I heard a man screaming, way too early in the morning I might add, “The world is ending on Saturday-have you lived?”  My first reaction was to figure out the fastest way to escape his loud voice and get my coffee. But while waiting in line to get my latte, his words had me thinking.

I looked up this whole world ending thing and of course only someone from California could have come up with it. A pastor and his followers really believe that the apocalypse will occur on May 21, 2011.

So if it were to happen in 2 days, have you lived your life?

I think I can comfortably say that I do not have any regrets with the way I have lived my life. I am 26 and have my Masters, have traveled more than I ever imagined, have loved wholeheartedly, experienced loss and have found my passion and now just need a job to accompany it. Many can’t say that.

But then I think about the people in my life who are still struggling to find that happiness- some are stuck in jobs they hate, some are in marriages without love, some don’t know what they want to do in their lives and are part of the daily grind because it pays the bills. I know life is not as simple as if you want things to be differently then make it happen but sometimes I really think you have to wake up one day and take a step towards change or else life will pass us by without giving us the happiness we seek.

A good friend once asked, “Who are you living for?” I think an honest answer to that question is a start in determining what you want out of your life. It is easy and definitely only a quick fix to fill up our homes with things that bring us momentary joy but that will never be enough. The people that are happy are that way because they live without worrying. Everyday, they make a point to simply be near someone/something that makes them happy which in turn pushes them to attain more forms of success. 

Random thought I know, but hope you all try even if it is for 2 days ;)

Chicago, IL

I have been meaning to write a post on Chicago since my trip but life events have given me an excuse to be lazy. I visited the windy city for a relaxing two days to see my little sister. Prior to grad school, I made an effort to visit at least once a year and sometimes even three times to the point that the city had become a second home. But this time around, I felt like I really connected with it because we made an effort to explore neighborhoods rather than the typical sights.

Specifically, we explored Wicker Park, Buck town, and Lincoln Park. Each had its own identity which made the atmosphere completely different from that of downtown Chicago. Wicker Park is a trendy low key row of streets lined with small independent boutiques and cafes. Each shop is totally different from the next as well from those on State St. We started our day with brunch at Hot Chocolate and just as the name suggests, there were many different options for this comfort drink. But it was not what you would typically expect in terms of ambiance. There were moose and deer heads along with abstract paintings and brick walls all around. I had the espresso hot chocolate and was already scared for our food crawl because I was beyond full from just this. Oh yea, I should mentioned that my host had decided to take me all over Chicago for some of her fav dishes and this was just the first stop with about 10 more to go.  

After purchasing a few items meant to distract from life’s troubles, we headed to Buck town for some window shopping and people watching. This area is more for vintage items, tattoo parlors and record stores. We stumbled on a vintage fair and I scored a beautiful Burberry coat for dad! Of course mom wanted something equivalent or better but I couldn’t oblige this time around. Next was Lincoln Park for some customized jewelry shopping and then our food crawl began. In a span of 4 hours we managed to consume a burger, hot wings, frozen yogurt, a kebab roll, nihari and french fries. Needless to say, the next day we could barely eat anything.  

I should mention that Chicago has a lot to do in terms of sightseeing from Millennium Park, Hancock Building, Sears Tower, Lake Michigan, Museums, State St, Oprah show, Navy Pier and the deep dish pizza. You can easily spend a few days here and explore. I came to Chicago with an empty carry on and an appetite. I left stuffed, my carry on overflowing and my mind had enjoyed the much needed break!